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NOTES:
Here's a traditional ballad that I pieced together from miscellaneous versions of the song I've heard from Fairport Convention, and from Bronson's Traditional Tunes to the Child Ballads. Of course I've added my own twists here and there and some silly voices. (muahahaahahha...) There's an alternate last line that I was tempted to record that goes "But won't you bury my lady at the top, for she liked that sort of thing." However I was able to resist temptation. How unusual...

lyrics

LYRICS:
Holiday, a Holiday and the first one of the year
Lord Arlen's wife came to the church, the gospel she did hear
When the meeting it was done, she cast her eyes about
And there she spied little Matty Groves a-walking through the crowd

Oh She tripped up to Matty Groves, her eyes so low cast down
Saying "Pray oh pray come with me stay as you pass through the town."
"Oh I cannot go. I dare not go. I fear 'twould cost my life.
By the rings on your fingers I can see you are Lord Arlen's wife."

"Oh what if I am Lord Arlen's wife? He is not at home.
He's gone off to the far country. He's bringing the yearlings home
Oh pray of pray come with me stay. I'll hide thee out of sight.
I'll serve you there beyond compare and sleep with you 'till light.

Well a servant who was standing by, hearing what was said
Swore that Arlen he would know before the sun had set.
And he did ride the King's highway. He swam across the tide.
He ne'er did stop until he came to great Lord Arlen's side.

"What news do you bring my bully boy? What news do you bring to me?
My castle burned, my tenants robbed, my lady with baby?"
"No harm has come your house and land," Lord Arlen's servant said.
"But young Matty Groves is with your wife and he's lying in your bed."

So Arlen called his merry men. He bade them with him go.
He bade them ne'er a word to speak and ne'er a horn to blow
But among Lord Arlen's men, one who wished no ill
The bravest lad of all the crew blew his horn loud and shrill

"What's this?! What's this?!" said Matty Groves. "What is this that I hear?
It must be Arlen's merry men, the ones that I do fear"
"Oh lie down, lie down little Matty Groves and keep my back from cold
Its only Arlen's merry men calling the sheep to fold."

So little Matty Groves he lie down and took a little sleep.
When he awoke Lord Arlen was standing by his bed.
Saying "How do you like my feather bed. And how do you like my sheets?
And how do you like my lady wife who lies in your arms asleep?"

"Oh well do I like your feather bed. And better I like your sheets.
But best of all I like your lady wife who lies in my arms asleep."
"Get up! Get up!" Lord Arlen cried, "Get up as quick as ye can!
For it'll never be said in fair England that I slew a naked man.

"Oh I can't get up. I won't get up. I wouldn't get up for my life.
For you have two long beaten swords and I've not a pocket knife."
"'Tis true I have two beaten swords, but they cost me deep in my purse
so you will have the better of them and I shall have the worse.

And you will strike me the very first blow and strike it like a man.
I will have the very next blow and I'll kill you if I can."
So Matty struck the very first blow and he hurt Lord Arlen sore.
Lord Arlen struck the very next blow and Matty struck no more.

Then Arlen took his own dear wife and set her upon his knee.
Saying, "Who do you like the best of us now, your dead Matty Groves or me?"
She picked up Matty's dying head. She kissed it from cheek to chin.
"Oh I'd rather a kiss from dead Matty's lips than Arlen and all his kin!"

At that Lord Arlen he jumped up and loudly did he ball.
He struck his wife right through the heart and pinned her up to the wall.
"A grave! A grave!" Lord Arlen cried. "To but these lovers in.
But won't you bury my lady at the top, for she was of noble kin."

credits

from Minstrel by Trade (and a Fool in my Spare Time), released August 1, 1999

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The Blibbering Humdingers Cary, North Carolina

These magical masters of musical hi-jinx and mayhem will wizard rock the tea towel right off your house elf. Their unique blend of 80s new wave, 50s do-wop, straight up pop rock and old-timey sing-song comedy will leave you laughing and crying for more. Songs about the wizarding world of Harry Potter, Dr Who, D&D, the SCA, medieval fantasy and all kinds of nerdy fandom. Salaciously whimsical! ... more

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