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If I was a viking, I'd never go to school.
I'd never use a toothbrush and I'd hardly ever drool.
I'd sail on the northern seas finding folks to aggravate.
If I was a viking, then life would be just great.

If I was a viking I'd never change my clothes.
I'd bathe semi-annually and I'd sometimes pick my nose.
I'd have a great big long-ship with an ugly dragon's head.
I wish I was a viking, just like old Eric the Red.

If I was viking, well I'd be pretty smart
'Cause I can wystle lots of songs and some tunes I can fart
And writing stuff would be easy. I'd be happy all the time
'Cause Nordic poetry alliterates. It does not have to rhyme.
(excuse me 'rhyne')

If I was a viking, I'd be fierce and brave.
I'd never have to comb my hair and I'd rarely have to shave
And I'd worship Thor and Odin, and maybe Heimdall too.
Then I'd party in Valhalla when my body is maggot food.

If I was a viking, I'd never run away.
And I'd bring all my booty right back home to old Norway.
And when missionaries convert me, and I become Christian
Then I'll forsake my pagan life,
Yes I'll forsake my pagan life,
I might forsake my pagan life and end this song. AMEN!
Yodel-odel-ay-he-hoo!

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from Minstrel by Trade (and a Fool in my Spare Time), released August 1, 1999

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The Blibbering Humdingers Cary, North Carolina

These magical masters of musical hi-jinx and mayhem will wizard rock the tea towel right off your house elf. Their unique blend of 80s new wave, 50s do-wop, straight up pop rock and old-timey sing-song comedy will leave you laughing and crying for more. Songs about the wizarding world of Harry Potter, Dr Who, D&D, the SCA, medieval fantasy and all kinds of nerdy fandom. Salaciously whimsical! ... more

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