Positively Gruntled, a collection of non-sequitur ditties

by The Blibbering Humdingers

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Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Positively Gruntled, a collection of non-sequitur ditties, Fantastic Geeks and Where to Find Them (full length album), Live at Dragon*Con 2015, Raised by Nerds, Holding On, Gollum, Free Awkward Hugs, Nobody Expects..., and 2 more. , and , .

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1.	Miliways 03:23	lyrics	buy track
Milliways By the Blibbering Humdingers, August 2020 It’s the end of the world? Life got you down? Time for a spot of vacation! There’s an improbable place with five star reviews, to observe universal devastation Stupendous decor, and sumptuous meals, in a stunningly splendid location The finest of feasts. And front row seats to terminal cosmic cessation Milliways, milliways, The penultimate finality of all your days Where pangalactic gargleblasters quench your thirst, It’s the rest’rant at the end of the universe From anywhen you arrive with improbability drive, the end is your Destination Luxuriously Lounge, in opulent style, perfect for your observation, salute your companions, and Savour a sip , exult in the end of creation Temporally displaced from the magnificent maelstrom of utter galactic detonation A splendiferous sight, a blinding display of divine celestial orchestration See the cosmos combust in the grandest conclusion of pure astronomic deflation Come again and again, reserve at the end, double check here for your confirmation The toilet paper you hoard can all be ignored when confronted with complete annihilation If you've done 6 impossible things this morning, why not round it off with breakfast at milliways, the restaurant at the end of the universe.
2.	Florida Man 05:08	lyrics	buy track
Florida Man charged with deadly weapon throwing gator into Wendy’s drive through Raids-farmer’s-market for fruit and soda, dressed only in a tutu Assaults his girlfriend with fried chicken while drinking his own homebrew practiced-karate on swans in the park, at least it wasn’t kung fu Florida Man hits McDonald’s employee ‘cause he didn't get a straw in his pop Attacked his sister, she touched his cigar, and then he bit a cop Claims he didn’t drink and drive- only swigged while he was stopped Gets thrown out of Trumpster rally, for hat with dildo on top Chorus: Who’s the guy who’ll save us all? Not Florida man. Who’s the guy who’s strong and tall? Not florida man He’s dumb he’s lame he’s sure to miss Hold my Beer Hey ya’ll watch this! It’s Florida Man!!! Florida Man, Fights eviction, over-- emotional support-duck Kills world-famous Busch-Garden flamingo. Gets squished by a truck Attacked his neighbors with roach spray, hits own head with nunchuck Steals pool floats for sex instead of a ... finding a girl to cuddle Florida Man pinched purebred puppies, pushed them down his pants Steals 12 quarts of motor oil, and pushed them down his pants Filched 6 fish from exotic pet store -and pushed them down his pants Purloins sirloins, lobsters, too and pushed them down his pants Chorus Florida Man, takes ride to jail, instead of riding on a manatee Dressed as bull, burns exes home with sauce from his spaghetti Drives date to bar on sto-len Wal-mart scooter for mobility Threatens to kill people-with-kindness. it’s the Name of his machete Florida Man claims Proudly he’s the first man to vape semen Puts lysol into pickle juice, to poison his own girlfriend. Runs to Bermuda in inflatable bubble. Rescued by Coastguard... Again. Wanders naked with cooking oil. Says he’s aroused by rain. Chorus Florida Man denies syringes-in-rectum are his, he don’t know who’s Called 911 due to lack of vodka for his Moscow mules Says-3-pounds of meth was not for people, just for cleaning pools Rips urinal from bathroom wall, runs naked , into-the- woods Florida Man Breaks into jail to hang out with his friends Throws sausages at mom because she won't cook him some eggs Paints Anti-Clinton messages on tampa area crabs And don’t forget that he’s to blame for all those hanging chads! FLORIDA MAN!!!
3.	Positively Gruntled 03:54	lyrics	buy track
Positively Gruntled The Blibbering Humdingers Language is a fleeting thing, defying sense and reason Novitious phrases dissipate with every passing season Let’s take this opportunity to delve into the discourse GASP And ridicule the lazy language caused by modern resource Let’s rapturously revel in the thrill of reminiscing when writing was an art form, one we currently are missing Though Querulously blathering can cause confusions Untold I hope this little ditty leaves you positively gruntled! After sojourns lengthy on our zoom calls in pajamas Kempt and seemly grooming might just lead to causing dramas Grandiloquently lofty style is frivolously needless GASP Phantasmagoric colorful coiffures for fashion heedless I’ve never met a girl so ostrobogulous as that lass risqué, bizarre- slightly bawdy, mischievous, oh that sass! Returning certain phrases into common conversation Is ever so felicitous, encouraging loquation It’s difficult to stay abreast of scintillating jargon Often words will disappear forgotten in the bargain Current interactions are but loathsome lessons learned GASP Spurious attempts to speak in sentences are spurned OMG that’s Funny Is a phrase that is ineffable Abasing speech to alphabetic terms is just Untenable. Contemporary comments teeter ruptile and precarious Once “sick” was bad, but now it’s good. Ironic is hilarious Awful used to be a term of reverential wonder Awesome was it’s synonym til that was thrown asunder A Blade once was a dashing man, who’s young and full of fashion GASP A Rake was not a garden tool but one who slaked his passion Witty dialogue exchange was paramount to wooing If such was needed nowadays there would be no pursuing Overtime some meanings change like Making love meant courting Currently it means the act Victorians called sporting Though Querulously blathering can cause confusions Untold I hope this little ditty leaves you positively gruntled I hope this little ditty leaves you positively gruntled I hope this little ditty leaves you positively gruntled I hope this little ditty left you positively gruntled
4.	We do Geek 03:51	lyrics	buy track
We Do Geek (loose parody of Zoom by DNCE) (We go on) Unexpected journeys through the wardrobe saving people and then huntin things Dm We aim to misbehave we manage mischief in a galaxy far far away ~~no matter where you go, that’s where you are ~~go-boldly where no one has gone before Do-or do not there is no try, just make it so, cuz friends don't lie, exterminate Chorus: Whooooahhhh Say that your life is dreary? Could you use just a little cheering? If you want to find a new scene, Just follow us through our dream Magic is real as can be, Storm the castle and you will see, We don't care what muggles think Cuz in our verse we do geek...clap clap Know-where your towel is, leaf on the wind, With-power comes a great responsibility Assemble-and -defend, live long and prosper, open every door of curiosity ~~no matter where you go, that’s where you are ~~go-boldly where no one has gone before One-with-the -force, the force is with me, won't succumb to Star Lord’s pelvic sorcery Chorus It's a dangerous business, going out your door. You step on the road, don’t know where you will go “It's a dangerous business, going out your door I do believe it’s time for another adventure. Remember Should you need us call,_ as you wish, so say we all, its 42 Find Courage in unlikely places, Have a jelly baby that's what Heroes do ~~no matter where you go, that’s where you are ~~go-boldly where no one has gone before Doth mother know you wear her drapes? Why must it always be the snakes— I am groot Chorus
5.	Deal Me In 04:29	lyrics	buy track
Spoken: I’m stacking my chips, raking in the credits like I usually do, when the light above me blinks and goes out with a loud pop! when it flickers back to life, The door slides open, smoke billowing to reveal a lone silhouette of a man, vest wide open, blaster at his hip, looking a little rough around the edges. Suddenly everything stops. He strides into the room like he owns the place. Right up to my table, and says in a cocky voiceDeal Me In. Chorus: From where I stand it looks a little rough to me No ship, no cash, no girl, no opportunity Lookin’ at a pile of problems as high as I can see Just watch, I’ll be the one they call Best in the Galaxy Movin through the stars, surviving how I can, won’t always be unknown, always on my own Working on a scheme, and now I’ve found a friend, we don’t have a home but we’re not alone Gonna beat that smooth old swindler at his own con. take his ship from him and get to flying on... So deal me in Flyboy, scoundrel, smuggler, Not the good ol guy, he’s just a renegade, working to get paid Looking through the cards, don’t wanna hear the odds, One day you’ll know my name and I’ll claim my fame enemies or allies, don’t trust anyone, Play your cards, ‘cause I know I’ve already won So deal me in I’ve got a tale to tell, best pilot everywhere, - hates all-that protocall, but he won’t ever fall I know Someday he’ll be the hero no one planned, and then they’ll recall how he saved us all They fly together, Beast and man, best team around He made the run in 12, if you just round down, So deal me in, Deal me in, deal me in….
6.	Earthly Delights (music on the butt) 02:55	lyrics	buy track
When God created Adam then he made the luscious Eve And he Placed them in a garden full of pure depravity…. They frolicked in the verdant verge with true unfettered glee, raced-naked upon bear and bull and languished in the sea The sea Chorus Why choose saint, when sinners sing and dance and play the harp and lute Proclaim the passions and the pleasures of forbidden fruit The multitude of masses in insousciant revelry They Gambol in the grasses, making merry, wild and free... With-delights of earthly pleasures and with no apology They celebrate unfettered by the shame you place on me On me Chorus Instrumental Bridge: The music of the sinners I do scribe with joyful cheer upon the rounded buttocks of-a debauching reveler. with Ink and flesh I share this tune and dance beneath a swollen moon with-those full-of love and laughter ...whom... I do... hold dear... Place not thy prudish values on the life I choose to lead I will savour luscious fruit and lounge uncloth-ed neath the trees... I live my life as I wish, it is what my spirit needs Let others do Just as they will, I swear this is my creed My creed Why choose saint when sinners sing and dance and play the harp and lute Proclaim the passions and the pleasures of forbidden fruit
7.	Jolly Murder Hobos 03:19	lyrics	buy track
When the guards get in our way Grab yer sword gonna hack and slash There’s a fee that we won’t pay Grab yer sword and the blood will splash Ch: Jolly murder hobos Join our merry band Jolly murder hobos We ignore the plan Jolly murder hobos Join our merry band Jolly murder hobos Where the Gore is grand have a job to interrogate Grab yer sword gonna hack and slash Talked too long bored with the wait Grab yer sword and the blood will splash NPCs got in our way Grab yer sword gonna hack and slash Don’t care what they have to say Grab yer sword and the blood will splash Taverns out of our favorite ale Grab yer sword gonna hack and slash Kill the barkeep drink our fill Grab yer sword and the blood will splash Shop is out of what we need Grab yer sword gonna hack and slash Kill the shopkeep take his steed Grab yer sword and the the blood will splash dragon tempts the stupid bard Grab the sword gonna hack and slash She’s too small when he gets hard Grab yer sword and the blood will splash!
8.	Queenie's Curse 04:10	lyrics	buy track
I’m Just a magical dame in New York Just sis and me in my life Born with a talent that’s also a chore Sometimes it causes me strife -I hear your desperate cries for attention In your most painful thoughts I know it is both a bane and a blessing Aware of more than I ought CH: I hear the words you ain’t saying I know what’s inside your mind No matter how hard you hide it I feel your story unwind I know what’s inside your mind. I hear what everyone thinks of me She’s a babe, a hotsy-totsy tomato The bees knees, just a skirt, a dumb Dora , a choice bit of calico There’s more to me than my gams you know I’ve got a heart and a soul My head is full of everyone’s stories And-all your secrets I know CH Bridge: Is it a curse what I know? It's just the way that I am can't stop those thoughts from coming , I use them just how I can. Is it a curse what I know? It's just the way that I am can't stop the thoughts from coming , I use them just how I can Hey! You left your wallet behind at the bank You’re-right it is quite a lovely day The pink one matches more of your outfits Turn-left here or you’ll go the wrong way you should give your wife your attention Stop hurting puppies for fun They’re making plans to rob the bank He’s off his track he’s hiding a gun! CH I hear the words you ain’t saying I know what’s inside your mind No matter how hard you hide it I feel your story unwind I know what’s inside your mind
9.	Waiting to Get Online 02:30	lyrics	buy track
There’s a small computer screen On the kitchen corner desk With a microphone and camera to be seen. Find the meeting code online, Hope the internet stays on Stuff we have to do since we’re in quarantine And we’re waiting to get online, waiting to get online, waiting to get online, waiting to get online Mute your microphone Don’t take the laptop in the bathroom Just stay here online waiting to get online we’re waiting to get online, waiting to get online, waiting to get online, waiting to get online Covid Sucks this year is crappy Seeing friends would make me happy Guess I’ll have to Discord, Skype or Zoom. If I’m desperate enough Here lonely eating icecream in the buff I guess I’ll have to start a facebook room But I’m waiting to get online waiting to get online, waiting to get online, waiting to get online Mute your microphone Don’t take the laptop in the bathroom Just stay here online waiting to get online But I’m waiting to get online waiting to get online, waiting to get online, waiting to get online There’s a small computer screen On the kitchen corner desk With a microphone and camera to be seen
10.	One Small Shiny Ball 05:12	lyrics	buy track
Chorus: One, small, shiny ball, is all I have left of you Alone was the way, til that fated day, then our connection grew finished the job, kept one silver knob one-day you’ll rejoin the crew free of my past, reshaped and recast, we are a clan of two Once I was content to labour alone and dedicate all to the mission Focused and proud with respect and renown, steeped in the laws of tradition Followed my creed -let no word or deed hinder my target objective Aloof I remained, impassive and tamed from the burden of being protective. Uncovered a truth, questioning now my resolve for blinded devotion Found in myself a strength and resolve inspired by newfound emotion new meaning is found in nurturing now, my mandate no longer controlling Together we run like father and son guarding searching defending Chorus Bridge: Remember my name, I will see you again Keep my heart I will will keep yours Hold onto my prize, til I look in your eyes Be strong, we are one in the force Right from the start you entered my heart, our stories are bonded together My quest is complete, now I must retreat, it’s time to unlash the tether We were our home, again I’m alone, no guidepost to show me direction Develop and learn, reflect and discern, remembering our connection Chorus
11.	Hat Full of Sky 04:15	info	buy track
12.	I Hate Sand 04:39	lyrics	buy track
Ani:"Padme, I thought we had decided not to fall in love. That we'd be forced to live a lie, and that it would destroy our lives. Padme:"I think our lives are about to be destroyed anyway, Ani. I truly, deeply love you, and before we die I want you to know.” A: Oh yeah? I have something I want you to know too! P: What is it? Sand. Sand, I really hate sand, It’s coarse and it’s rough, and not fit for a queen Sand. Sand, I really hate sand. I’ll never set foot upon Tatooine! Sand. Sand, I really hate sand It gets everywhere and it's got me all blue Oh, Sand. Sand, I really hate sand I really hate sand, But I truly love you. Doo doo Doo doo Doo doo dooooooooo Let’s picnic in the grass in the pasture on Naboo. Let’s roll in the flow’rs even if it’s taboo. We don’t have a chaperone but we still have Artoo We’ll hide it from all, that’s just what we must do Doo doo Doo doo Doo doo dooooooooo Chorus Let's play, hide and seek then we’ll jump the Shaak beasts. Let's lay in the grass, see what cloud shapes we see Roll over there Ani. You’re big as a tree, Is that your lightsaber-or are you glad to see me? Dee dee dee dee dee... Chorus
13.	Ravenclaw Founders Song (Cantiga de Rowena) 02:44	lyrics	buy track
Wit beyond measure is man’s greatest treasure Reas’n before leisure and knowledge is the key Wisdom and learning and sense discerning Reason returning. I prize these traits in thee. Intellect and acumen outstanding Aptitude and creativity Competence, adeptness and adroitness Art finesse and ingenuity Wit beyond measure is man’s greatest treasure Reas’n before leisure and knowledge is the key
14.	Tin Man Troubles 01:06	lyrics
Help me quick! My tocks won’t tick My joints are frozen, I feel sick Has anybody seen my oil? Movement gone Rusted on I’m a stiff automaton Has anybody seen my oil? I want to sing and dance around and be jubilant But I’m stuck, what the heck? I can’t find my lubricant. Motion ceased, Need release Just can’t seem to find me grease Has anybody seen my oil?
15.	When You Are Old and Gray 02:16	info	buy track

about

Delightful ditties about stuff we like. Recorded mostly live from January-April 2021 in our living room.

credits

released May 7, 2021

Kirsten Vaughan - vocals
Scott Vaughan - vocals, acoustic guitar, recorders, bodhran, mixing and mastering
Aiden Vaughan - drums, backing vocals
Liam Vaughan - keyboards, acoustic guitar, backing vocals, accordian, harmonium
Chuck Parker- electric bass
Mark Traphagen - mandolin on Hat Full of Sky
Brian Ross - upright double bass on Hat Full of Sky

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The Blibbering Humdingers Cary, North Carolina

These magical masters of musical hi-jinx and mayhem will wizard rock the tea towel right off your house elf. Their unique blend of 80s new wave, 50s do-wop, straight up pop rock and old-timey sing-song comedy will leave you laughing and crying for more. Songs about the wizarding world of Harry Potter, Dr Who, D&D, the SCA, medieval fantasy and all kinds of nerdy fandom. Salaciously whimsical! ... more

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